Witch of the Ditch

Lilies at the AtBot  ...has been busy, balancing heat avoidance, the gym, couch rot, work avoidance, tarot, and actual productive activity, in equal measure, depending on the day. I have made some headway, though, completing a job application for sub teaching (ie, I work when I feel like it) and making some small headway into cleaning my office. I also continue to cook a fair amount for my household of 2.  Gym has been one-step-up-two-steps-back. I've been going regularly to 7am stretch class, which is a chore, but I feel fantastic afterwards, so I just grit my teeth and do it. I've also started going to Zumba again, and that's a joy. Hard, sweaty, and I sorta suck at the dance moves, but nobody cares, and it makes me immensely happy.  The fail part is the lifting part. I have had no motivation to lift weights this summer. I think it's that I don't enjoy the machines so much. I wonder if I pulled together my old free weights workout if I'd enjoy it more? Wishing

 An effort to capture the zeitgeist of the times, and awaken the writing habit, after a long hiatus.  I have been blogging since the year 2000. It's true. LiveJournal to DiaryLand to Diary-x to Blogger, and a dozen Leuchtturm 1917 notebooks in between. I haven't considered blogging recently, but a reread of some entries struck me. I can write, and I like words. So I resurrect a blog, one of 3 I still own. This one is a bit more private than the others, and I'm okay with that. I'm trying to decide how much of me I want to release to the world, at this juncture in my life. Funny, that, when I never had a problem, blabbing my business to anyone who'd slow down and listen, but here we are. Perhaps I'm in my quiet era, but quiet has never been my strong suite.  This little light of mine. I'm gonna let it shine...let it shine, let it shine, let it shine. 

 "I know so many people who think they can make it alone. They isolate their heads, and stay in their safety zone..." - Brian Wilson I made it to the mat today. It was sooo hard, at first, every little baby asana felt like a struggle. About halfway through the practice, I started to feel good, warm and stronger. It's a recent lesson of mine to take my initial "I can't do this" feeling less seriously. By the end, I was looser than I've been in some weeks.  This Yoga with Adriene 30 Day Challenge feels like it could be doable.  Pat and I went out to There, a local gastropub, for a burger and beer. It was empty, and fun to sit and hang out and sip an ipa, and nosh on a perfectly cooked, very small burger. I haven't been out with my husband in months, it seems. I want more of that... I woke in the night with another anxiety attack. I pulled up Jay Chodagam's "declutter your head and free your mind" anxiety vlog, and listened to it, til I f

 Happy New Year! It's been a hell of a 2022, but now it's 2023, so onward and upward! I thought to go into this new, improved blog, as part of my goal of looking inward, and feeling my feelings this year; a thing I've opted out of for the past few. But not feeling my feelings, staying busy, skating through activities, and escaping into social media or just spinning my wheels hasn't worked very well for me.  2022 was a year of health crisis for me. I was diagnosed with Patellofemoral arthritis, a painful condition that kind of sidelined me for a few months. I did PT, used ice and Voltaren gel in copious amounts, and have been kind of swinging between pushing through the pain and feeling better. I fell off the yoga mat, in a big way. I gained weight, around 15 lbs, which made a big difference in how messed up my knee was. I developed high(er) blood pressure. My body started to fall apart.  My dr. and I had a big coming to Jesus, and I've made a plan to try and regain