life lately

Lilies at the AtBot

 ...has been busy, balancing heat avoidance, the gym, couch rot, work avoidance, tarot, and actual productive activity, in equal measure, depending on the day. I have made some headway, though, completing a job application for sub teaching (ie, I work when I feel like it) and making some small headway into cleaning my office. I also continue to cook a fair amount for my household of 2. 

Gym has been one-step-up-two-steps-back. I've been going regularly to 7am stretch class, which is a chore, but I feel fantastic afterwards, so I just grit my teeth and do it. I've also started going to Zumba again, and that's a joy. Hard, sweaty, and I sorta suck at the dance moves, but nobody cares, and it makes me immensely happy. 
The fail part is the lifting part. I have had no motivation to lift weights this summer. I think it's that I don't enjoy the machines so much. I wonder if I pulled together my old free weights workout if I'd enjoy it more? Wishing I had an actual personal trainer, instead of the very sweet child who is my "fitness coach" counselor at the gym. I miss The Marine, and the no-nonsense sitch at Gold's. 

Today, I went on a field trip to the AtBot, as a chaperone for a teacher friend of mine. It was a beautiful day, and I walked for miles, leading groups of kids, having a good time. En route home, I was talking to my mom, and she asked me if I regretted retirement - if I missed teaching and the life of the school. Oh Hell No. But my old AP and I had been talking about how the system has stolen all the joy from the work. I tried to hang in as long as I could...

I had a thought last night, after disappointing my coach, and beating myself up over the couch rot, and the chores and tasks undone, and the reviewing of recent depression...what if I worked My Program every day for a lunar cycle? How would my life be different? 

My Program: (not to be confused with any official program) 
1. Get some damn sleep - bed at 10, rise at 6. 
2. Log food in My Fitness Pal - when I log it, I keep my wits about me.
3. Meditate, not guided, but silence, breathwork, empty-headed mindfulness. EVERY DAMN DAY. 
4. 30 minutes + outside time. EVERY DAMN DAY. 
5. Morning Pages Brain Dump, as often as possible. 
6. Continued Bullet Journaling. 
7. Back on the supplements: St John's Wort, fish oil, vitamin D, calcium, magnesium
8. Keep moving my ass. Add resistance training, no matter how distasteful I find it, right now. 
9. Keep to the mystical path - tarot homework, lunar observances, spellwork. 
10. Clean something each day. 
11. Making. 
12. Nightly walk with my puppy. 

Note that there's no mention of endless social media scrolling, nor hours spent in couch rot. So it's a full moon, and I'ma give it my best shot, for a cycle, just to see what happens. 

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